Manni is dead. And things seem to have disappeared from my house.
My pride and joy – I have not looked for my pride, I may find it yet. Joy, however, left with him. He’s gone.
My heart – my heart belonged to him so I probably shouldn’t go looking for it but it’s mighty empty inside my chest now that he’s gone.
My purpose – my purpose was to do all I can for him and now he’s gone.
My strength – all the strength I thought I had for the two of us was really his. And he’s gone.
All the light – it is dark now in this corner of the world. His light went out or he took it somewhere. I just know it is gone.
My best friend – have you seen him? He was around me 24/7 and now he is gone.
We let Manni go on Sunday, December 10, at 3.20 pm. It was the day of his two-year ampuversary.
After two nights where pain medication did not last until the morning and a Sunday where his hind end was finally giving in it was time.
He got to go out into his yard one last time and got to feel the first snow of the season that he loved so much. I think it started snowing just for him.
He fell asleep on his living room floor and for the first time in his life he didn’t fight.
Manfred “Manni” Lübcke
January 28, 2007
–
December 10, 2017
Manni always danced to his own tune.
So the following is my personal playlist right now and forever.
For the last two years I told him “I love you” every single day.
When I had to go away for a few days I would tell him for all the days in advance and then again when I came back.
Ich liebe Dich.
Alles gut, Baby.
Das war’s.
I’m in tears–this touched my heart. What a beautiful tribute to your best friend. I have no words, just hugs…sending tons. What a lucky boy Manni was to have such a loving family.
You are in my thoughts today. Such an amazing caregiver and advocate for Manni. He no longer feels pain anymore, and no doubt he got a phenomenal greeting when he made it to the bridge. Such a beautiful tribute, your love shines through your words and pictures. Sending you long distance hugs.
Jackie xoxo
Tina,
We are so heartbroken! No real words to say sobbing ! Please know how sorry we are & how much we will miss Manni! We all knew we were getting close that never makes this part any fkn easier!
This is a very hard time & I understand your pain! Letting go is never easy to do.
Just know the strength Manni gave you was his gift to you & you will always have that strength it will take time to find it again! I promise you it will come back and Manni will be showing you some signs the has gone on in a different form ok! Watch and listen and don’t fluff it off!
I’m going to watch for Manni too because I do believe he will visit us all!
We loved Manni the Warrior Wonder Dog!
Sending the biggest of hugs I know it wont fix a dang thing just know we are thinking of you & Manni and will always always remember Manfred!
He has his wings and is on 4 and healthy again Run Free Manni use those wings & this time try not to hide so we can all see you ok!
Much Love Tina (HUGS) XOXOXOXOXO
Tina,
I am so so so sorry. I know that doesn’t take the pain and hurt away. And to be honest it is going to hurt for a long long long time. No one can tell you when that hurt won’t be as strong. I was once told that the bond we have with our Tripawds is like no other. I was also told that I wouldn’t understand that statement right then but when Sassy was gone I really did. Man o Man does it hurt.
Your statements are so true. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Manni knows you loved him and you did everything you could to give your boy a great life. He got to enjoy the beach and many travels.
This is such a wonderful tribute. I love every picture you shared of Manni.
Run Free Manni until you see your mom again and meet her with a wagging tail.
xoxxo
Michelle & Angel Sassy
I’m so sorry, Tina. More than sorry. I am sitting here in tears reading this. I really don’t know what to say. I know that nothing I say can give you comfort. The loss is so total and so raw. You were the most wonderful Mum to him, loving, determined and hugely courageous. I’m glad he got to feel the first snow and that he told you it was time and that you heard him, as I always knew you would, even though your heart was breaking. I know how alone you must feel right now, but please know that your Tripawds family is surrounding you with strength and love, grieving alongside you and cherishing the pictures and stories you shared of your beloved Manni.
Sending love,
Clare
Sobbing here! As I knew I would be. And to be perfectly frank I don’t have any wise words to help you here. I just know I want you to come here so I can wrap you in a huge hug and cry with you! And after that we’ll have some,….ok no……a lot of wine and talk about our Manni the Wonderdog. “Our” Manni because he was part of us too…I know this because his Mom shared him with us so brilliantly and my heart is breaking here so he has to be “ours” too . Love the pictures, love the music love your tribute! I’m not sure if you believe in “doggie heaven” you’ve never said but it’s ok if you don’t because I believe enough for both of us. So please continue to tell Manni you love him each and every day because I know he’ll hear you. I shall do the same. Fly free Angel Manni! We love you! And Tina we love you too! So until I can do it in person I’m sending you hugs and much love! You’ll always be Team Manni to me! Love you my friend!
The snow gently fell for our beautiful Manni and our tears are falling hard for beautiful Manni.
No words are coming right now…….too much crying.
Thank you for sharing this though. I know it was almost impossible to do through your gut wrenching tears.
We salute Manni and bow down to his awesomeness. We are in awe of a life so well loved and so well love…..Manni-style!
We are ALL “with you” Tina. You can feel our love and our hugs, I know you can. We just wish that could take your pain away, but it can’t.
I’m coming back later when my heart is able to speak to you without all my damn crying getting in the way!
Surrounding you with Manni’s strength, his lovece and our love
Sally and My Chunky Spiritual Being Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie
Even though I knew this post would eventually be coming, I was in tears before I read a word. I wish I could reach across the Pond to hold you, Tina! Manni fought so hard for so long, he must have been tired so now he can rest. You took the best care of him and took him on some great adventures! He loved his Manni Mobile, going to the beach, rescuing bunnies (well, maybe he would rather have just caught them! lol) and just going around. Murphy and Manni, and even Nitro, who once were separated by an ocean are now united at the Bridge and are running free together!
Hugs to you from Glenn & I
What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul….I grieve with you and for you, my friend. Yes, it does feel right now as if you’ve lost all those things. And it probably will feel that way for quite awhile – with 4 months under my belt, I can tell you it does. But he IS still with you, in your heart, in every fiber of your being, just not in the same way as before. I refuse to believe our heart dogs are gone forever; we just need to adjust and accept they ARE with us, not in body, but in spirit, in the gentle blowing breeze, in a beautiful sunrise or sunset. That doesn’t seem like much comfort right now, in the height of your grief – it seems like the cruelest joke the universe could play. Nothing compares to feeling the softest fur, looking into the warmest eyes, experiencing the unconditional love of our best friend. It sucks, but we can’t change it. I only started to feel some peace when I accepted that what I had was gone forever, but Nitro still lives on – in my heart, in my memories, in my love. I had to accept and move forward, knowing I gave him my all, and he gave me his everything. Wishing you peace, my friend, as you move forward, one small step at time. Looking forward to when we meet again, and can hug and remember.
Paula
Tina,
I don’t even have the words right now as I sit here (at work) with tears rolling down my face. What a beautiful tribute to your amazing love story to your best friend.
Never have I seen a more dedicated, more researched, more prepared person go through this journey. Manni was lucky every day of his life to have you as his mom.
And Manni, bless his heart (the good way) let you know when he was done. We always wonder if we will really know and you did, my friend.
The words sound simple now but truly, I hope for you, that the memories will warm your heart. The photos will help you heal. The signs he will send will bring you peace.
I wish you so much love and support during this time … this is the worst and it sucks and it hurts and you feel lost but I promise you will find your way again.
Much love!!!!
Alison with Spirit Shelby in her heart (and little Jasper too)
Oh Tina,
I know your heart has broken. Your strength is not gone, it is simply wounded. The silence and black hole that they leave us with is deafening in its own right. And slowly a light will re-emerge when you are ready. We all love you and the Manni Man we never met. His sparkle in his eyes in all the photos you shared. I won’t try to placate your pain with words, because there are none. But for Manni, please know “alles gut”. It is is not for you, but he doesn’t have to fight any longer. And when you are ready, we all wait to hug you through the internet with open arms.
Be kind to yourself,
Karma, Adelaide and the pack, and always with our angel Brendol in our heart
I’m very sorry Tina.
When we start down the cancer path we usually know where it will end, and as we get closer to the end of the path we know we are almost there. As prepared as we think we are- we are not.
You got it right in the title of this post- things have been misplaced- they are not lost.
All losses are hard, but when you fight so long, when nearly every moment is focused on one being, well it seems like there is nothing left at all once they move on.
For now the Tripawds Nation grieves with you, hopefully we can ease just a bit of the burden. Know that so many of us have been where you are now and we understand, we truly understand.
Manni will never really leave you, the special ones live on in our hearts and so are always by our sides.
Karen and Spirit Maggie
A beautiful tribute to such a sweet soul…he was blessed to have you in his life.
Tina, our hearts ache and the tears flow here after reading your deeply moving post. I don’t know how you found the strength to tell us. Thank you for letting everyone know. We hope you can feel the love surrounding you from across the globe. This entire community mourns the loss of a legend. We are so sorry.
You and Manni impacted soooo many of us in a multitude of ways, we would need days and days to write them all down. We owe you a debt of gratitude for the courage, spirit and love in which you chronicled his journey. You took time to show everyone what is possible on three legs, and you and angel Manni will forever be an inspiration to new and old members alike. What an impact you have made on this world. THANK YOU.
Even when we know death is imminent, it’s never easy and it hurts like hell afterward. There’s no way around it, how we wish we could do something to help you through this hard time. Just know that we are all here for you, surrounding you with love and light, friendship and understanding, now and always. When you want to talk, we are all here for you.
xoxo
Rene, Jim, Wyatt Ray & Spirit Jerry
I’m so sorry, Tina. No matter how long we get with our babies, it’s just never enough time. I promise that Izzy was waiting for him and will make him feel right at home. I’m so glad the snow came in time for him to see one last snowfall. What a beautiful gift from the universe.
My heart is broken for you. Please know that we are all here for you.
xoxo,
Amy & Izzy my angel pig, too
Tina,
I’ve really felt Rocky’s presence the last couple of days, and now I know why. He’s been trying to tell me he’s got a new buddy at the Bridge.
You summed up the end of this awful journey so well. Nobody – absolutely nobody – fought harder than you and Manni. He was incredibly lucky to have you as his mom, and you were equally as fortunate to have him as your son.
My thoughts are with you.
David and Rocky
P.S.
When I came here to post this, I got Manni’s banner. Such a handsome boy.
My heart hurts. I’ve read about Manni since we started this journey 5 months ago. I’ve cried and laughed at Manni. Today it is tears. Thank you for chronicling Manni and your journey. You have helped me in our journey.
Tina
Stewie and I are heartbroken for you! There are no words that could possibly give you enough comfort, but I hope that these words of love reach far across the waters to you…
You’re tribute to Manni is beautiful. I was bawling before the second video and sobbing by the end. We are all feeling very deeply for you Tina! Manni made a huge impression on us all and he has you to thank for that! You typed his thoughts beautifully!
May you feel comforted, wrapped in the massive spirit called Manfred and May he always be with you to carry you when you are down!
I will hold you close to my heart lovey and both Stewie and I will be sure to keep Manni’s spirit alive in our home! We shall talk of the time that we had chatting with him and smile because of the two of you!
Manni is close to you lovey, he always will be!
Damn! Words are not enough…
Love to you Tina! Spirit kisses to your darling boy Manni! X
Tina, I’m so, so sorry. Like everyone has said, I knew the post was coming and I’m crying for you.
You left a beautiful tribute to Manni, the songs, pictures, stories and of course memories will be with you and us forever.
Tracey & Tai
Oh Tina. I can’t even. I came face to face with your postcard again this morning since Wallee’s food is on top of the frig. Felt your energy and now I know why. My heart’s breaking for you and with you. I’m sorry I’m just now checking in.
I love that the snow fell for Manni, just for him. And when I logged in to comment, Manni’s banner came up – it’s truly beautiful but how could it not be –
he was a beautiful boy.
Keep breathing (in AND out) and know we are all here for you, surrounding you with love and anything else you need.
Manni was a warrior of warriors and will never be forgotten.
Run free Manni!
Holding you in my heart,
love, Teri
Tina I am so sorry!
Just like Teri I came face to face with your postcard just yesterday! It made me think of Manni & the puzzle video you posted recently. That video made me smile seeing Manni work through the puzzle like a champ! (The video was so adorable I had to buy the puzzle for Mollie 😊)
However, today I am in tears reading the news. We never have enough time with them 💔.
Stephanie
Tina, our dear beloved Tina. I’ve tried soooo many times ro come back here and post. I LITERALLY have thought about you every, single day. And dozens and DOZENS of times I have thought I was in a “space” where I was “open” to a “guided source” so some sort of comfort could come to you through the screen. but to no avail. And the same is true now.
You have, indeed, received so many loving and heartfelt words of support from everyone. Manni, and the bond you two shared, touched us all so deeply. I hipe you can feel that. I hioe you take solace in that. I hope you KNOW we fell in love with that strong-willed, witty, smart, one-of-a-kind, determined, ass- kicking-take-no-prisoners MANNI!!!
Mannie decided to let you know that the balance between his earthly energy and his Soul’s energy was starting to tip in favour of him returning fully to his Soul. And he choose you to set him free. You had the strength of your love to carry out his wishes…and he knew you would.
Can you imagine how loved and secure he felt with you every single moment of his life? Can you imagine how truly proud he was to be your companion and partner? Can you imagine how free he felt to always be Manni because you understood him fully and you never tried to make him be somebody he wasn’t? Take a moment and imagine how privileged he felt. Now take a moment to know he felt the same way about you! He always understood you. He knew you felt safe with him. He adored you for respecting his “boundaries”. And he always felt honored because you allowed him to be a part of your loving light in a way that let him thrive and let his Spirit soar!
And we are all so honored and privileged to know you both. Thank you for sharing your boy with us. And Manni, thank yiu for sharing your Mom with us.
From my heart I send you love and peace!
Sally and My Chunky Spiritual Being Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
Not sure you would call it a “sign”, but it’s definitely a “Soul connection”.
So shortly after typing this post, I got the mail. The love and care I was trying so desperately to convey to you, was actually conveyed to me in a LOVELY card with truly stunning photos and compassionate sentiments. Your selflessness and care for others, even when you are in a state of despair and your heart is broken, reflects the true essence of who you are.
You and Manni…Manni and you….one heart. I am sooooo privileged to get to travel by your side, and Manni’s side, on this journey with so many different dimensions.
Love and light
Sally